🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?